business coaching · mindset · retention · sales

How to CALM Down Betty-Backout

I lost a few clients last week.  No one is immune from our current reality.  I call people who back out of deals “Betty Backout.”  We don’t have to just fold our cards and sing an ode to Kenny Rogers: “You got know when to hold em….know when to fold em…know when to walk away….know when to run….” We have a choice in how we respond to what is going on.  And the more knoweldgeable and convicted we are in what we do, the better we will be.

I started my consulting business because I wanted to make a positive impact on entreprenuers and sales people by sharing simple, duplicatable, and impactful sales and performance rituals.  And I went independent because it allows me more freedom and control to pivot when I should.  People over-complicate most things, and when we add emotion into it?…It can be hard to stop what gets put in motion.  Positive and negative both create momentum.  Which side will you choose?

One area we can control is the level of our skill set.  Those people who sit back and don’t positively pivot will be left behind.  And that scares me.  We can’t see real well when we are emotionally attached to any situation.  Any time you can breathe, gain perspective, and look for possible solutions is time well spent.  (I like to say that a coach is a pair of bifocals that allows you to see what’s in front of you much better.)

One skill I wanted to shed some light on that I think people really need help with is how to keep clients.  People will start calling (or avoid you and cancel) when they are unsure or scared.  I have a simple outline as to how you can increase the odds of getting them back, or preventing the cancellation in the first place.

It’s called CALM.

C. Calm both parties down.  In order to calm down someone who is scared or changed their mind, you need to first calm yourself down.  Take a deep breathe.  Remind yourself why you do what you do, why it matters, and be ready to share that with them.  Calm down your prospect by giving them some grace and space to share what they need to.  We listen really well when we make sales – how well do we listen when we re-sell?

A. Ask questions.  Part of re-selling someone is asking them questions.  Hopefully you’ve done great customer service and been in contact with them enough to have a relationship to do so.  Ask questions that pertain to their original need.  Ask them questions that remind them of the gap that needs to be filled for them to be their best.

L. Listen to them.  Most people want to have an answer immediately for everything. (Including your’s truly.)  Let them talk and listen to what they are saying, and not saying.  If you give people 3 extra seconds after they have “finished” speaking, they will get uncomfortable with the silence, and then really say what’s on their mind.

M. Make it work.  Work out a way.  They will tell you the reasons they still need your products.  Re-sell them.  People forget most of what they hear and probably don’t remember why they bought entirely in the first place.  Remind them with an authentic, service-minded sales pitch to reengage them.  Go down in price and service if you have to.  Suggest alternatives to what they will need moving forward.  You might even not only save the potential lost sale, but also sell them more.  People have always spent money- whether they had it or not – on what they see as valuable.  If you have a product or service you KNOW is valuable, you should feel convicted to help your clients see the value and stick it through.

This is a basic outline.  If you have additional questions about the specifics, reach out to me.  I’ve been serving my community and audience consistently for several years and right now, more than ever, I want to help. You can find more information about other blog posts and free content, along with services I offer at

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s